Another page has been turned

The past few days have given me a lot to think about, as my ex has suddenly gotten remarried.

I did not get to wish them well, because I have honestly given up on ever having a social relationship with my ex. Why? Because he has chosen to treat me as refuse, as someone he has gotten all he could get from and then discarded. He does not speak with me and he does not respond to any piece of communication from me.

All the not-so-good stuff that he does, however, he insists on attributing to me, or at least forcing me to share the blame with him. He recently wrote a long text to one of our children blaming himself and me (!!) for something that happened. I was copied on the text!

He could have perfectly left me out of the whole equation because I did not belong in it, not in an ounce of a way. What can I say....? Frustrating, to say the least; yet, these are the only times the guy refers to me. No sir, thank you, I can do without anymore guilt trips than the ones you put me on for three decades.

Some of the things that I have thought about with his marriage have been attributed to things that he did - or did not do - while we were married.... in the course of 31 years.

For instance, he often threatened to trade me in for two younger models. I must laugh here, because this is about the ONLY promise made to me that he sort of kept. He did marry a much younger female, very close to our own children's age.

Now, for 31 years I pleaded and begged for us to take ballroom dancing lessons because I so wanted to dance with him, but he always refused. The closest to doing it he ever got was a promise he made to me when I moved to Virginia. He said we would take ballroom dancing then. That was a FAIL. No lessons. No dancing. Yet, on his wedding day to his new bride, he danced. I watched as he followed her lead (she is a dancer) and danced with her. Thumbs up for him. He is learning to do something for the other person in the marriage, for a change. Maybe having been married for 31 years before has taught him something. I was so very tired of being alone in the marriage, spending time by myself while he spent time with friends, who, by the way, he considered his 'best' friends instead of me.

Today I noticed a nice picture of the newlyweds on Facebook, and I thought, "wow, it took him exactly 13 months to accept me on Facebook when I first started using it (he started on it before I did). Thirteen months!!! And we had been married over 25 years! Yet, his new wife (or bride, as he probably calls her now) already has a picture of them on her Facebook profile, and he is actually smiling. Thumbs up to her for getting him to do a selfie with her AND to get a smile out of him.

I see progress here. This young lady is so lucky to have him do things for her. Perhaps she will benefit from all the things he now realizes he never wanted to do for me, the woman who stuck by him through thick and thin and did for him what no other being on this planet did.

Progress is good. All this shows that he is trying. I, of all people, should be able to testify to that, because I cried myself to sleep so many times because of the things I, his wife, had to do without, starting with his presence.

I applaud his efforts for trying to make someone else happy. If all the changes keep on taking place, there is a huge chance she will be the only woman he will ever have time for. And she will be way luckier than I ever was.

And another page has been turned! I am looking forward to the next chapter/s.